Two Peas in a Pod

There are things in this world that outlive their welcome very quickly. A turd that won’t flush. A fart in an elevator. Your live-in girlfriend who won’t change her cat’s litter box. Scatological analogies aside, we all know when something, or someone, has lingered beyond the appropriate hour. Like a clingy dingleberry.

I’m done with the poop metaphors, I swear.

Today’s subjects are none other than freakishly tall James Comey and freakishly thuggish John Brennan, who Chris Plante refers to as Penitentiary Face Brennan. On a good day, these two individuals might best resemble a pair of low-rent James Bond henchmen. On the worst day, they are the former directors of the FBI and CIA. And both are under criminal investigation as it relates to their actions from several years ago during the infamous and discredited Trump-Russia investigation (read: screw job).

The elevator doors are opening and if there’s any justice left in the world, we will all soon receive a much-needed breath of fresh air.

Their actions? Some might say they defrauded a FISA court with the discredited Steele Dossier. If you’ve been anywhere other than under a rock for the past eight years, you’ll likely be familiar with this roll of toilet paper. Hillary Clinton (Flush damn you! Flush!) used 2016 campaign funds to finance the creation of opposition research that was, arguably, created more or less out of whole cloth.

The list goes on.

Brennan, it is said, may have used his position to exert pressure on agency analysts to produce a politicized Intelligence Community Assessment possibly meant to sabotage the presidential campaign and nascent presidency of Donald Trump. He is said to have exercised “excessive involvement” from his top-tier office to rush through the creation of an ICA, the conclusions of which, some contend, were dependent on stringent compartmentation and uneven access to information necessary for agency analysts to generate an accurate and objective analysis of the facts. It has been suggested he used his power to misrepresent and unfairly characterize the eventual winner of the 2016 election. And why might he do such a thing? Perhaps because he's a pinko who, in 1976, voted for Communist Party candidate for president Gus Hall. Brennan appears to be no public servant, but rather, arguably, an enemy infiltrator. And it is claimed that he misrepresented facts to Congress concerning the inclusion of the Steele dossier in the ICA. This goes beyond the politicization of false intelligence. This could be seen as a concerted effort to defraud the United States of America.

And Comey? The Office of the Inspector General found his work on the Russian collusion hoax to have contained “sloppiness.” Another way of saying weaponized incompetence. Comey is no rookie; it could be said there was no mere sloppiness, rather he knew what he was doing. It's not a stretch to suggest he deliberately disregarded established protocols and due process in the context of the FISA warrant process by excluding exculpatory evidence and relying upon discredited information such as the Steele Dossier. And leaking his memorialized conversations with President Trump may very well amount to a calculated act of insubordination and an attempt to force the appointment of a special counsel.

In a worst-case interpretation, this wasn't about upholding justice but about protecting his own position, retaliating against the president, or further fueling the narrative against the administration. This could certainly be seen as a deliberate breach of confidentiality and a manipulation of public opinion.

And there seems to be little doubt that he was acting in concert with Brennan. It's difficult to interpret this having been an accident. A coincidence? My foot. This stinks of conspiracy.

We would be lucky to be stuck in an elevator with a rank belly full of noxious but otherwise harmless human flatulence. The truth is far more sinister than a mis-timed fart or a stubborn log of excrement. The truth, more likely than not, is that Brennan and Comey worked to subvert the results of a free and fair election to sabotage the presidency of Donald Trump and the will of the American people. And their only recourse, it appears, is to hide behind a façade of incompetence, which should come as no comfort.

Best case, these individuals were perhaps in over their heads and didn’t realize what they were doing could be seen as treasonous. That would be bad enough. Worst case, they are premeditated traitors. If there’s any justice left in the world, the plunger will send them down the tubes where they belong.