Leave the Parody to us, Pencil Neck!

A perennial favorite asshole of the MAGA movement is none other than California Senator Adam “Pencil Neck” Schiff. And what’s there not to hate? He’s got a face made for radio and a voice made for newsprint. His eyes are bulging out of his skull because he’s stuffed his big mouth with enough circus peanuts to last him through the winter. It could be a long winter for him, too, metaphorically speaking, if it turns out he’s guilty of mortgage fraud. Unfortunately, even if he's found guilty, he’ll probably get a perfunctory slap on the wrist when in reality he deserves a fully telegraphed open-hand smack across his bug-eyed mug.

Maybe his best/worst(?) moment came in September of 2019 during a House Intelligence Committee hearing when he went unabashedly full retard. His idea of parody was putting into President Trump’s mouth a bold-faced lie: a command to Zelensky of Ukraine to “make up” dirt on Joe Biden. Senator Schiff may be completely ignorant of the fact that the United States and Ukraine have a Mutual Legal Assistance Treaty, which gives the POTUS 100% authority to request that Ukraine investigate malfeasance committed on their soil by American citizens.

Or he’s not completely ignorant of the MLAT. It’s not unrealistic to suggest Schiff is a blithering idiot, a fella with too much water in his head and not enough brain matter. The other side of the coin, which is equally realistic, is that he’s a shameless liar, insulated in his Left Coast enclave from even a hint of accountability at the ballot box.

Isn’t this what malignant narcissists do? They cast aspersions and tell lies and then when they’re called to account for their inveterate dishonesty, they say they were only joking. It was a parody, not an actual representation of the facts! At Uncle Sam’s Inkwell, we specialize in parody. We know bullshit when we smell it, and we smell it every time this reflexive nitwit opens that big wet hole in the middle of his face.